Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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