I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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