sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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