When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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