Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.