Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.