how do flat chested girls get laid?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This is my gift to your gina
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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