I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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