what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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