No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
