I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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