He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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