I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize