What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
