btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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