i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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