When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
