Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
