APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
