forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Damn victory sex feels great
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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