you win again, gameday.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
