my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
