I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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