Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
