you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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