I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
