they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
