I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
