Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
