Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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