Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We won't sleep together?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
