he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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