We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
