Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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