So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
