you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize