if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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