whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
