the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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