its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend