i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate