bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
