new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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