He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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