she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize