3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
