They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
