Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
this is an emotional support booty call
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
