Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
