Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
