Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
