Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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