thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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