Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
