either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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