the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
