is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
