her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
