i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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