My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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