Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
