I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
