Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
