Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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