How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
