I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
