Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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