If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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