Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you made out with another girl for some wings
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