I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
