he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
