We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
