There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
